10 Ways Ianto Jones Got His Own Back
by butterfly.cell
Summary: The story behind the creation of this is inside... Just a bit of creative Gwen bashing due to slight Mary-Sue tendancies. Ianto's POV, slight Owen/Tosh, slightly more Jack/Ianto


Okay, so it was 6:30 am and I was awake, so I decided to come downstairs and watch S02 E08 on BBC iPlayer... lo and behold, it wasn't up yet! To vent my anger, I decided to write a short drabble to vent my frustration. After watching 'Dead Man Walking' again last night, I decided that I needed to do some Gwen bashing to avoid it happening in 'And So It Begins... Again' (I'm trying to keep that as realistic as possible... None of the characters would be mean to Gwen in the real series) and it came out in the form of a list.

Please bare in mind that this was written at 7 am and I was very irritated with the BBC, so some of the ideas are a bit dumb... There's a few that I think are really funny, and I'd love to see them happen! But yes, I doubt they will... This was inspired by a fic by Erin Giles I read about the 10 uses of post-its around the office (it's on my favourite stories list if anyone's interested, and I highly suggest checking it out, alot of fun) so thanks for the inspiration!

This is really just a bit of fun, so please enjoy it! Review it if you like it or have any suggestions for '10 Ways Toshiko Sato Got Her Own Back' when I need another Gwen-bashing session (she's getting a bit too Mary-Sue-ish for my liking)

**Disclaimer:** I sadly do not own any of the characters in this fic, but I'm still allowed to play with them a bit... I promise to return them to Russel T. Davies as soon as I'm done!

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**10 Ways Ianto Jones Gets His Own Back**

**1. When Gwen hits on your lover, switch the coffee.**

When Jack doesn't get the right coffee, he gets pissy. When Gwen doesn't get the right coffee, she gets paranoid. When Gwen asks Ianto about it and gets redirected to Jack, Ianto likes to watch the sparks fly with satisfaction.

**2. When Gwen asks what time it is, always tell her it's an hour after closing.**

It serves her right for not wearing a watch and then not looking at her computer screen (the time's right there in the corner!). Ianto thought it had been common sense, so the glare he got afterwards was worth letting her run around the hub like a headless chicken thinking she was late for dinner with Rhys. She'd never asked him the time again.

**3. When Gwen says she's being vegetarian for lent, ask for anchovies to be put in the pizza sauce.**

That was more for his own satisfaction, as she'd never found out about the fish. It had actually tasted quite nice, although she'd eaten practically the entire pizza before he could steal a slice. Ianto later wrote in his diary: "I must remember to keep a straight face next Gwen exclaims how good this new kind of pizza is."

**4. When Jack enquires about the anchovies, look vacant.**

If he was going to as-good-as declare his love for Gwen in the middle of the hub (with Ianto standing RIGHT behind him) then he didn't deserve any co-operation. Jack spent the day trying to seduce a confession out of him. Luckily Ianto had the willpower of an ox… and he secretly liked the way Jack was trying so hard to get him into bed.

**5. When Gwen asks whether you'll be ordering the same pizza the next day, don't laugh.**

Gwen had looked a little taken aback as Ianto snorted at the suggestion and hurried off to make coffee. Jack had seen him in the kitchen double up and giggling. He was cute when he giggled, even if it was at the expense of someone else in the hub.

**6. When the post-its on Gwen's desk run out, leave one of yours on her desk to remind her of the fact.**

Gwen's disgusting pink post-its had 'vanished' over night, and She'd come and started whining to Ianto about it, trying to get him to divulge his secret stash of stationary to her. He was quite happy to wait for her to go away on her own accord until she started trying to sweet talk them out of him. She'd fully deserved the sarcastic comment on his own lime green post-it later on in the afternoon. He didn't think she ever found where he put the stationary. None of the others ever looked in the cupboard under the sink.

**7. When Gwen starts talking about Rhys, 'remember' phone messages he left for her.**

Ianto had just about had enough… In love with Rhys, even more in 'love' with Jack and shagging Owen? Did she have no self control whatsoever? Rhys was too good for her, so a little meddling on Ianto's part was more than earned. With any luck, she'd realise what a good thing she had going with him and forget about Jack and Owen... They were practically claimed property. Plus, Rhys would think the constant 'I'm sorry I didn't get the shopping this week!' remarks when she got home were endearing. After this, Ianto wrote: "I must come up with more inventive yet relationship-stressing messages to leave her. The shopping doesn't seem to cut it anymore"

**8. When Gwen hits on Owen, give Tosh something to do.**

That way, when Gwen comes calling about something to do with their last case, she wastes time trying to find Tosh. Also, convince Tosh that she has a rightful claim on Owen and should act on it. The waiting was nearly insufferable.

**9. When Gwen comes into the hub crying, make sure Jack is conveniently not in the room.**

It's just common sense to keep Jack away from an overly emotional and sensitive woman. It was for Jack's own good anyway. Last time she'd been crying, she almost shagged Owen again… good job he'd been dead at the time and had no blood. Ianto didn't even know what she cried about anymore. He was starting to think she had a tearduct malformation.

**10. When Gwen inevitably comes looking for Jack in his office, kiss him hard.**

Not only was it a nice feeling, but Jack would be in a daze for a few minutes and Gwen would be too embarrassed to say anything and leave. By the time Jack returned to the real world, Gwen would've gone back to doing her job. Satisfaction came in many forms, but that one was the best. Ianto knew he'd earned himself some action later that night.


End file.
